Now that I have your attention, I'm talking about Dane! :) I'm having a very difficult time with our current situation and thought my mommy blogger buddies might have some magical advice for me! We booked a 3 day trip to Mexico with our friends Luke & Nicole. They have a son 10 weeks younger than Dane and we thought that we could make the decision later as to whether we would take the boys or not. We've made the decision not to take the boys partly due to the likelihood of them getting sick from the plane, but also because Dane just went on a trip and it took him a few days to adjust to his new surroundings and I don't want to put him through that again so soon. Believe me, when I think of sleeping in for 3 days and not having any responsiblity for 3 days...it sounds pretty appealing. However, I am with this child every day and have been for his entire existence. Every. Single. Day. I am so afraid I'm going to miss him like crazy! I know it's good for Cameron & I to have nights away from Dane and I know it's good for Dane to have nights away from us, however I didn't think I would have to make this decision until Dane was older. I know that might sound crazy, but I just never thought about leaving him except for once a year in April for Cameron's company trip because I don't have a choice - no kids allowed on that trip.
I'm not an idiot, I know other people can take care of Dane. There is no question about that, but I also know it's not the same for him. No matter who it is...grandmas, aunts, uncles, grandpas - no one is mom except mom. Also, separation anxiety is kicking into high gear for him right now. Many friends of ours say it's easier to leave them at Dane's age than when they're a little older and more aware. Am I being crazy? Cameron thinks so, but I know there is a major difference between being a father & being a mother and what we're comfortable with. I mean...I couldn't even leave him at the daycare center on vacation and it was literally 10 steps away from our room! Am I neurotic or was it this hard for every mother to leave their child overnight for the first time? Does it get easier?
We are not going until after Christmas, so he will be almost 11 months old. Guess it's hard no matter what!
5 comments:
aye...ours are 3 and 1 (as you know) and we are planning our first overnight trip away from either one (other than when pierce was born) sometime in december. i could not have left hudson at one but somehow it feels easier since they have each other...maybe get preggo? :) seriously, feeling for you!
We left Braden for 6 days at 13 months when we went on our honeymoon. Of course I was nervous, but we realized we couldn't not go on a honeymoon. Anyway, that getting me to do it aside it was THE BEST decision. As parents you know we don't get to connect in that carefree, no worry kind of atmosphere with your husband and boy... it was really one of the best weeks Chad and I had ever, in large part because we appreciate how sacred the time was for just the two of us, and I'm not sure anyone really values it like that until your time isn't really "your time" anymore. Day to day we consider the sacrifices a privledge, and it is. But once in a while, a few days a year it's a really nice break and way to reconnect. Not to mention, great for Dane to spend a few days away and know what still everything is going to be ok. And trust me... the three days will FLY by!
I think it would be good for you guys to go with out him. Whoever watched him will do just fine. You will miss him but you just have to tell your self he is doing good. Good luck on what you do. Wtih both our girls we left them over night with my mom when they were babys and now they love to go spend the night anywhere. It will be good for down the line for him and you. I know it is more then a night but it is good.
I always thought that my wiring would be similar to what you are talking about.... but when Aaron was only 8 weeks old, I had to have gallbladder surgery which required an overnight stay in the hospital. When I left for the hospital, I said that Aaron HAD to visit me that night and come first thing in the morning so I could nurse and snuggle with him. However, the surgery was much worse than I anticipated AND my roommate in the hospital was hacking up a lung (didn't want to bring a newborn into that situation!) Anyway, ALL of that to say.... I had to jump into the "being away from baby" thing headfirst.... and it ended up being a blessing because it became easier to leave him later on. It will be good for you to have time away with your hubby.... to focus on putting your marriage above your child which is SO important.... yet, so hard at times!!! Would it be possible for you to do just one night away from Dane sometime before your trip to ease yourself into it a little more? Also, if you're at all like me.... the first 24 hours are the hardest.... and then, you'll find yourself actually enjoying and cherishing the time away! :) Keep us posted! Good luck!!!
It's a tough decision! Been there myself! You will not regret it and believe me...it's not any easier if you wait to leave him when he's older. Ultimately you have to tell yourself that he's in great care and enjoy your time away. The look on his face when you return will be priceless...I promise!!
Much love to you!
mb
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